The story I wrote yesterday about going to Howick was read by the tube man, I did leave the blog address with him afterall, and he wasn’t too happy about how I portrayed him. Fair enough to as in re-reading the post it was fairly obvious that I’d used a situation that was alittle fraught to highlight another situation that was the opposite… and I’d taken no responsibility for the first situation and heaped all onto a busy man just trying to make ends meet and by taking no responsibility I’d even transgressed by using him to build my own behaviour into something without question.
My first thought was to change the last post to show him in a more favourable light but then I thought that thats really just more of the same and it’d be better for all if I got honest and admitted my failings.
I do suffer from the need to tell stories and in those stories I often want to define a moral. That the subjects are pushed and pulled to suit my own objectives is the actual truth distorted to suit my own definition of it. Sometimes its alright to do this and sometimes it’s not and in this case I have been caught out as a hypocrite because I often state that the means do not justify the ends. But I often also state that I am a hypocrite because I sincerely believe that we can only learn things by the depth to which we hold them as truths and then find them failing and have to change our ideas of reality and therefore be humble and honest about our always apparent and obvious, though we forget so conveniently and easily, risk of failing.
But in this case, and I know it too be true for I did feel the twinges of doubt as I wrote but disregarded them, I have been guilty of stretching the truth a little too far and not at my own expence but at anothers and that is blatantly a wrong on my part.
So I offer my sincerest apologies to a man who is obviously a fine craftman and who can choose to do what ever he wants and feel how ever he wants in this world. His actions are not subject to my judgements and I’m sorry that I was so arrogant as to believe that my own actions are beyond reproach. I saw only from my own eyes and did him the discourtesy of believing that his own view and views were unworthy of my own lofty worthiness… arrogance.
Should I be punished? Well the fact that I have lost a potential friend may very well be punishment enough as this man was obviousely talented in that he was not only trading in a competancy that people needed and self employed to boot, which is a totally under rated challenge in itself to carry on with even mediocre success, but he had a passion for another feild, allied but considerably different, in which his level was the equal to practitioners of which only a handful exist and are at the top of a field held in considerable esteem by the professionals lucky enough to afford the talents they exhibit.
So I stand cap in hand and my eyes downcast hoping I will be forgiven and that this backward step I have been caught making was and is a mistake on my part that I am willing to learn from and will eat any humble pie I am deserving of… and then some.
can’t swaer it blocked me how can i convey what i want without swearing
How can you? by being reasonable I suppose and concise?
Try again because I’m interested in what you have to write.
I quite enjoyed the chance to realise what I’d done to effect someone else and making amends where I could.
i did a concise swear as a way to ward off bad spirits, by not knowing what you said or he said well it was a speculative comment at best, But your intent was to bring another point to bear, i was rightous in my defense of you but have absolutely no idea of any reference,
Hey, it wasn’t a bad thing at all to go back and realise what I’d done and the man took it well and we’re okay now.
Oh look, a spambot has found me… jeepers!